BACK AT IT WITH STYLISTIC
Over this past Summer, I spent every waking, breathing, and even sleeping moment working on Stylistic. Everything from the app to the content to the message, it was always on my mind.
Once the Fall semester started though, I fell short. I didn’t even touch a single line of code. I didn’t even think about it. It became obsolete.
Recently though, it’s been consuming my mind again, but not in a good way.
“Why haven’t you done anything?”
“Your idea isn’t good enough.”
“No one cares about what you’re making.”
“Just focus on school.”
“This dream is too big.”
It’s crazy how these thoughts entered my mind so fast with no warning or basis at all. Yes, imposter syndrome is real, but I never thought I would feel it with Stylistic, especially since I was so excited about it during the Summer.
But today, I took a step. I’ve been thinking for weeks about just getting back at it with Stylistic, but these thoughts would always stop me. Not today though. I went on my MacBook, opened on Xcode, and I actually wanted to puke.
I physically got nauseous and scared just looking at all the code I’d written over the summer. Thank god I kept good documentation of it though because I genuinely had no idea what I was looking at when I went back in (life-saving tip right there for all my coding girlies). But even then, the overwhelming feeling of not knowing where I was or where I was going to take this app made me scared. Like really really really scared.
Have you ever had a weird hobby that you did as a child and when you look back on it, you just start cringing? YEA THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT I FELT. Like ain’t no way I actually thought this app was a good idea. But actually, it IS.
Sure it’s not perfect. But everyone has to start somewhere. I can release the most basic version of the app at first, but I can’t lose momentum and stop iterating on it.
That was my mistake here. I just gave up on it for over two months. Never again.
Don’t give up on your goals. Because yea even though it can be overwhelming or cringy or weird or physically scary most times, you never know what can happen. So I’m just going to see what happens because IT IS WHAT IT IS.
I love you all, and thank you for always reading along with these updates and keeping me motivated on my journey. It truly means the whole world to me. <3
