FINDING YOURSELF AGAIN
Introduction
Stylistic started as a way to help other young adults like me gain confidence in their true authentic selves. I created it out of deep reflection on my past, thinking about how I was completely lost as a high schooler during the COVID-19 years and used isolation and fashion to get out of it. But, recently, I’ve been feeling that same type of lost feeling again. I find myself hating every little thing about my daily routine, the things that are happening around me, and about who I am as a person.
It’s literally like, HERE WE GO AGAIN. If you’re feeling this way too, this is for you.
The Process
I feel like it always comes and goes in waves. I go for months, or even years at a time, feeling like the greatest version of myself. I feel happy, fulfilled, and confident in my being. But then there are periods, like now, where I feel like I need to change. I need to evolve, and it feels like the universe is calling out to me to take a step back, retreat, and find myself again.
The last time something like this happened was five years ago when COVID-19 first hit. But it was easier then. I didn’t need to force myself into a retreat to find myself again because I was quite literally put into isolation. The process was done for me in an external way, so finding a way to recreate that again NOW seems impossible, and that’s mainly due to my hyper-fixations and my daily routines.
Hyper-Fixations
As a college student, I am constantly go, go, go. I have seven classes five times a week. I work part-time. I also commute from home now, which is a major change from last year. I go to the gym every day. I need to plan my meals, lay out my outfits for the week, study on my off times, and also SLEEP.
So. Much. To. Do. And I end up hyper-fixating on every external task that I must do, which causes to me neglect myself and my own peace.
Then the falling apart happens.
A Need for Change
I feel like whenever we start hyper-fixating on external things and are constantly in a state of accomplishing tasks, that internal need for change is bound to happen. You are bound to feel insecure about yourself. You are bound to hate the things you do. You are bound to feel lost again. And that is exactly what I, and probably a lot of other people, are going through right now.
We need a change.
Baby Steps
I’ll be honest with you, I don’t have any solutions.
I’m still trying to figure this out for myself, and writing this post was a way to express what I’m going through in hopes that someone else can also find comfort in it. I will say though that, similar to the last time I went through this, I keep finding myself gravitating towards fashion.
Obviously, that is how Stylistic started in the first place, but I never actually realized how much of an impact fashion can have. Retail therapy is so real, and every time I go through a rough patch like this, my style changes drastically. One of my friends actually mentioned the change in my style recently, and I’m gonna take that as a good sign.
Sometimes, change needs to happen externally before you start to heal internally, and it all requires baby steps; one at a time before you can meet the new you.
Conclusion
If you are currently going through something similar, know that you are not alone.
Change is inevitable and we are meant to grow as humans.
Who knows, maybe your style will change too, both on the inside and out :)
